I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize