his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
