I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
