There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
