I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
More tranny stories later!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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