BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize