Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
