Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize