meet me or not, i'm out of control
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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