absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
