soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
