There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
