I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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