So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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