Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
