Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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