...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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