Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
