Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
