do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
