So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
