i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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