it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
