I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
