SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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