Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
