I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
