On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
