In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
