I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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