why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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