i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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