You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
