Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
