Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
