Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
