Kiss
Puke
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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