You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well I just put wine in my tea
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
