Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
