if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's official drugs can't kill me
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
