Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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