He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
