it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
people are starting to question the shark bite story
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
