he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
