so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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