Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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