Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I want her autograph on my taint
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
