Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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