just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Plan B is the new Plan A
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
