do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
