K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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