her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
