dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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