marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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