IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
