allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
