Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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