is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
